Lust for Life

The other day I watched Paul Thomas Anderson’s movie Boogie Nights. It is a classic movie which documents the life of pornstars. Purity and grace of some of his characters are what separates him from the rest. PTA is not afraid to be sensitive and vulnerable and has portrayed the rise and subsequent fall of adult star Dirk in his movie in a moving manner. It has left an everlasting impression on me and in this post, I am going to discuss pornography and sexual abuse.

Pornography has played a major role in promoting sexual abuse and we are shy to discuss it in open. They have influenced the way we perceive or look at things and has been miseducating us for a long time. Traditional pornography depicts sex as more like a thrill and is more about energy and intensity. This is achieved by reducing women to a thing on which another satisfies his appetite. Pornography only depicts the physical act of sex and portrays it in an animalistic manner and the emotional elements of the couple’s relationship are forgotten. To me, sex is a form of communication. I see sex as a way to make someone feel like their lover was telling them something important and profound. And because it is coming from someone we deeply care about and are attracted to, it carries a greater weight. This makes it less like titillation and more like advice coming from a loved one.

After having talked about the emotional elements of sex, I will discuss on what causes this sexual desire in the next few lines. We are animals and our natural desire for sex stems from our desire to reproduce and further the species.  Sex is there as a trust-building mechanism to ensure yourself and each other that children will be nurtured and protected. This evolutionary trait is deeply ingrained into us and it is something we shouldn’t be ashamed of. This is the kind of understanding we lack in this modern society.

Women who work for porn industry accept being subdued by men and by doing so, they help these producers spread massive miseducation on sex. But personally, I don’t think they deserve the blame for the rise of the porn industry. In fact, I feel bad for them as most of the porn stars or prostitutes are victims of human trafficking and they are forced into pornography. Not everyone prefers to become a prostitute but many who end up becoming prostitutes are victims of sexual abuse. Personal pain, shame, and sacrifice they make are unmatched and they shouldn’t be stigmatized or isolated for their professional choice. Isolation is not a solution. They deserve to be loved and valued for the principles they stand for.

Women have become victims of abuse and sexual assault and men are most often the perpetrators who fail to understand the meaning of sex. Sexual abuse can lead to emotional and psychological consequences and these are more damaging than the physical assaults. Victims of abuse experience negative emotional effects and suffer from lowered self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and shame. They often feel stigmatized by the society that isolates them and ultimately ends up getting disconnected from us. It is important to understand that, we are born with an enormous need for affection and so are the victims of abuse.

Feminist should work on promoting human values and love but the feminist movement has lost its plot. I hate this modern form of feminism. It has become trendy to call themselves feminist these days. Today’s internet feminism has grown into a man-hating movement and the focus on uplifting women lives is lost. Feminist should promote gender equality and they need to put an end to prevailing stereotypes. It has to be much more than man vs women and it has to be a movement that aims to end the injustice that affects everyday lives of humans, no matter what gender, race, belief or social standing. We should work to promote love and by doing so, we can make this world a better place.

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